You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize