For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize