she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I did not marry a roomba.
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