You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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