Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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