At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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