I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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