You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
