Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
