first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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