I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
