I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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