I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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