I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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