I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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