sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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