Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
