he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
