i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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