Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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