What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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