oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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