So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
