brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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