Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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