I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
