Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
