i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
