Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
