i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
