i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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