I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
