We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
