My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
