She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
