I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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