no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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