I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
