When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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