everyone is single if you try hard enough
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
