i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
