I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
