Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
