Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
