I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel great
I just peed on a car
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
