And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im holly from the hills drunk
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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