I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
