just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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