You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
