yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize