I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize