i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just puked most of my soul out..
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