I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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