How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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