i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
