Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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