Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize