butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
