you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
